The October Round-Up!

The October Round-Up!

I’m trying to be a little more positive in these blog posts, but y’know what I hate? I hate the cliché that getting broadband sorted is always a hassle.

I hate it more when that cliché ultimately proves true.

Your brand and spanking new broadband will be ready to go on the first of November, they said. My surprise when my lovely new router still glared at me with a red light at 23:59 on this date was minimal.

Second of November, while I’m out, a gentleman showed up at the door and said he was there to take a look at it. We expected no visit. The gentleman knew this. The gentleman was sent out because EE alerted him that our broadband hadn’t turned on and was sent out to investigate the fibre in the area. If anything, he was being a good sport by coming to the door to check out the source, but still, a phone call wouldn’t have killed.

Later that day, I came home to find that the reason it wasn’t working is that it wasn’t plugged into the central phone line hub or whatever. No worries. Sadly, the central phone line hub (or whatever) is in the back room of the flat. A room, given the density of the ancient walls in my home, I affectionately refer to as THE DEAD ZONE. No signal makes it in or out of that room, and the bloody router doesn’t work when set-up in any other room.

I upgraded my broadband. In one room, my internet is furiously quick, but the rest of the flat has actually suffered a downgrade.

So that’s why the blog is late today.

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October review time! Gonna try out a hundred-word format to keep my activities digestible. Grab a coffee and…

Grim Celebration!

Those of you who took a gander at the acknowledgement pages of Grim (my book, which exists here, just FYI…) might remember I only wanted to make enough money to take Simone for Mexican tapas. Well I got paid, baby! We got our tapas, cocktails and left with change to buy a ridiculous toy I won’t apologise for. You’ll see it on this blog soon. Thanks to everyone who bought Grim – you helped me become a PAID WRITER, and I owe you big time! (Though technically, I gave you a book… so I owe you nothing.) Check me out:

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Grim for Free!

In other Grim news – holy shit people really like free shit. I don’t know why this shocks me. FREE is the only word most street vendors of Stylist, Shortlist or NME bother to say as they thrust a magazine into your hands. For four days I gave away Grim for free and trampled all over the total sold copies. I’ve tripled my readership. Any of you brought here as a result of this free purchase, HEY! Did you enjoy Grim? Leave me a review! Help a brother out. Oh, and stick around here for nonsense every single Friday – people love it.

Club Noir

Club Noir is a strange beast. I mean… it’s a bit mental. It’s a burlesque show, a variety performance, a nightclub, and an all-inclusive carnival of the most creative people in Glasgow. I saw genderbends of Harley Quinn, Negan, and Rick and Morty. I saw the most convincing Miss Trunchbull this side of Matilda – he was terrifying. Legit: a witch cast a spell on a businessman, put him in a cauldron and cooked him until he burst out in a rainbow-clad, spectacularly camp performance of Little Mix’s Black Magic. The witch got naked. I went as a clown.

Stranger Things Season 2

*Not too spoilery, but proceed at your peril*

Pretty much perfect. Obviously. Hopper and Dustin stole the show (even if Dustin was THE DUMBEST BOY at one crucial point – you’ll know it), though most-improved definitely goes to Steve. Steve is the man. I’m rooting for Nancy to get back with him. I’m fickle, what can I say? The story was thrilling – DUH. Effects got the big-budget overhaul the show needed, pulling the whole production up a gear. The downer? Sigh. Eleven went fairly underused. Her subplot did the whole ‘send Luke off to learn from Yoda’ shit. Not cool. Aside from that? Yeah, pretty much perfect.

Thor: Ragnarok

I saw a tweet which sums up the new Thor film, it said: “They liked Guardians of the Galaxy, right? Let’s just turn that up to 11.” It’s pretty spot-on. It will make you laugh – loads. It’s the funniest Marvel flick since GotG. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its touchy-feely moments, just like GotG. I walked away from it wondering if the Thor in this film and the one in his prequels were even the same guy – the tone shift is that drastic. Absolutely BRILLIANT, though. DC have their work cut out for them next month…

Low Volume 4: Outer Aspects of Inner Attitudes

This comic is set in the distant future, where humanity is forced to live underwater because the sun has expanded and irradiated the surface. Bleak, but absolutely gorgeous. The story treads water (pun very intended) though. It ignores the cliffhanger from the last volume (fuck comics), but kept my attention with an arc about a girl getting her hope back. It’s a solid addition to the Low saga. If you’re into it, it’s going to keep you there. If not, don’t start here. You won’t have a clue what’s happening. I barely did, and I’ve read the last three.

Rat Queens Volume 4: High Fantasies

Here’s the fun shit. If you’re a fan of high-fantasy questing, dragons, beasties and taverns built on ale, or sassy humour and characters you know, even after a few pages, then Rat Queens is your jam. The Queens, a team of bad-ass multi-species bounty hunters, head out on an epic quest to… pretty much pay the rent… get a few drinks… pay for some cake… Girls gotta eat, y’know? It’s got dungeons, massive sky snakes, riddling goblins and a sprinkling of family drama. Rat Queens is good for fans and newbies alike.

Lord of the Flies

There’s been some… mild controversy surrounding this book recently. I (shamefully) had never read it, and I wanted in. Could this book be done with girls? Turns out of course it fucking can’t. Girls would act entirely differently (I’m not gonna say better or worse), so the plot would be different, wouldn’t it? Not really Lord of the Flies, is it?? And Jesus Christ WHY ARE MEN WRITING THIS? AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS, HOLLYWOOD?? FOR FUCKS’ SAKE.

The book itself is a masterpiece though, no doubt about it. Fully deserves its place in history. Five stars. Woo.

And that was my October – what did you get up to? Any thoughts on Thor, Stranger Things? THE BASTARDING LORD OF THE FLIES NONSENSE? Let me know on Twitter, Facebook or in a caption underneath a photo of your dog on Instagram… or in the comments section below if you’re into that.

Also, while I have you, I snuck in an extra update earlier in the week about an awful experience I had with a pot noodle, check that out by clicking HERE.

Aaaaaand last week I gave some really, just excellent advice on how best to be an adult. If you missed that, correct that HERE.

Catch you next week, for another story time edition!

It’s Gavin

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